You gotta love...

"I curse the day you were born!"

Who could forget Charlotte's epic medieval-inspired line? Being the loyal girlfriend, she had sworn to avenge the public humiliation of her friend the next time she saw the ex-boyfriend. Her friend, the said humiliatee, appreciating the support, then jokes that Charlotte should work in a finger-wave maneuver to go with the line.

As girls, we tend to do the same as Charlotte, never saying what we need to say when we need to, rather, we replay how the moment will unravel,  believing that the moment will be so dramatic, so epic. We think of the line to end all lines, we know the pitch at which the line will be delivered, we even think of what facial expression we will pair it with. If we're talking boyfriends, we want 'him' to be so devastated by 'that line' that 'he' is left gobsmacked and stunned.

What we've seen on TV of course manipulates the situation. As girls, we want to be pretty when delivering this moment, and even when in tears, we want 'him' to see the beautiful specimen he has hurt. Then there are our friends, aah, poor friends, they are just meant to be on your side – unfair yes, but at the time, you just need the support – logic can be applied much later.

But it's all funny really, since we can't conjure up the same mean spirit we have at the moment of truth. 'The moment' in itself never plays to our advantage, you suddenly feel silly, he says something you didn't anticipate, your sensibility kicks in and suddenly, you are at a loss for words and want to let the issue go – but he needs to know how upset you are/were, but the truth remains, the mean spirit is gone and the moment is no longer ideal.

Case in point, my tiff with a friend over not doing what he was supposed to do. It was important, involving other people who thought the promise would be honored.  After the said failure to fulfill his promise, he had tried on numerous occasions to call, he emailed apologizing, "Other work happened and I couldn't honor the promise, but I have the document now, could I call the people concerned to take them through it?"

All this time, I was ignoring the said emails and calls. There was genuine anger seething in me and I let it.  I roped in a friend to seethe with me, she obliged and seethed too.

Alone at home, moments arose where I would imagine the tone, the line, the face, the place. I knew the line "How dare you! How dare you do this to me! After going out of my way to make this happen, you do this to me!?"I imagined the ligaments on my neck stretching when I said the word 'dare', my arms flailing about and my fingers pinched in that Italian gesture to emphasize my anger.  

Four days went by, and I found myself with a few friends at some hang-out spot. The mood was jovial and relaxed, and out of nowhere, the un-fulfiller-of-the-promise appeared. "Hi guys!" [Some murmuring around the table]. Dang! Of all the places in JHB, why did he have to choose this one!? Quickly thinking of how to handle the situation, I ignored him, focused on my drink, and decided to speak to a friend sitting close by. Sensing the girls knew the situation, the un-fulfiller-of-the-promise committed, "Hey, can we talk outside?"

I had no game plan, he was never supposed to be here, I was supposed to know he was coming around – at the neighborhood coffee shop preferably, he wasn't supposed to be calling the shots! 

Channeling my anger after being happy and laughing, and not wanting to betray my resolve to be angry as shared with my friends, I resisted at first, then with all the feigned reluctance I could muster, slid out of the booth to go talk to the un-fulfiller-of-the-promise…

Needless to say, the face, the voice pitch, and the dramatic scene displaying betrayal were never delivered, and the line was, although less stingy, "How could you!? How could you do this to me!? I went out of my way to make this happen, and you do this to me!?" I even added a little stinger, "Friends are supposed to have each other's back and you never had mine on this one!"

The moral of the story? The epic line is the stuff of life and the stuff of relationships. It's also the stuff of funnies we create in our heads that just makes our lives more interesting. Just make sure you're not caught off-guard. 

Long live the epic line!

What epic line have you made up recently? Any movie lines you especially like? let me know...